Fast forward to 1:05; person almost gets hit by a train

I don't really believe in a heaven, and I definitely doubt that if there is one, it's going to be where all the dead people are able to sit around and chat with each other. But if it is, I want to be able to answer the, "So, how'd ya die..?" question without feeling embarrassed about it every time. It'd be like the first month of college, right? When everyone asks each other, "Where are you from? What's your major?" But there'd be like a gazillion dead people in heaven. That's a lot of times you'd have to say how you died.

"So, how'd ya die..?"

'mumble mumble train'

"Sorry, didn't catch that, how?"

'I mumble mumble train."

"I'm sorry, I can't underst-"

'I got hit by a train, okay!'

"Oh wow, did you commit suicide?"


"Did your car get stuck on the tracks?"


"What year was it, did a mustachioed man tie you to the tracks?"

'No... I saw the train coming, heard the alarms, the train's horn, and I still tried to run across the tracks... And it hit me.'

"Was there a baby in danger on the other side of the tracks you were trying to save?"

'Okay... now you're just F'in with me.'

"(sigh) Ah, ha, yeah, kinda..."

And the moral of that story: People in heaven are jerks.

- Cory